There are things that I can’t understand, like how’s it possible that I was fooled. My understanding was that nowadays all these “electronic” things were recorded somewhere, so it’s possible to know that the money I sent someone has indeed arrived, and who that someone is. Back in the day this wasn’t a guarantee, you know - no, it was all kept on paper, and that’s not a reliable solution since the records can burn or get lost or just disappear. We’ve overcome that thank God, it’s all in a database in the cloud. Still don’t understand what any of those words mean in this context, but I was assured by my son-in-law that works in tech that it’s basically impossible to lose any record - there are even regulations and audits and redundancies and protocols to prevent that to happen.
So, I really don’t understand. Here’s what happened, maybe you can help me. I received a message on my phone. There was no number, just the name “AT.GOV”. AT stands for “Autoridade Tributária”, which is a very fancy way to refer to the taxman. It even said it came from the government - whenever my daughter helps me with doing some bureaucracy online, which I admit is much easier but it’s not meant for someone like me; whenever I wanted to pay taxes, I went into the town hall building and walked into the room where you paid your taxes, that’s all it took. But as I was saying, whenever my daughter helps me doing some bureaucracy online, I’ve noticed that all the websites ended in “.GOV”. It seems sensible to have an easily recognizable way to make people know you can trust whatever it is you’re reading on your phone or computer.
The message was very terse: “You have a debt due to the ongoing procedure. Pay until today to avoid fines. Ent. 86234 Ref. 345 789 231 € 848.23” Well, I don’t remember having a procedure with the taxman, but if there’s one thing I’ve learned through my long years is that you pay first and complain later, it’s the only way they’ll spare you. You don’t mess with the taxman, probably the only government body that works really well.
When I see the message with the references, I was able to quickly understand what was at stake. Gladly they had sent the multibanco reference for us to pay. Multibanco is a wonder. Or maybe was, I don’t know anymore, but when it appeared it completely changed our world forever. The banks did the unthinkable: they all got together and created a system that was interoperable between all the different banks in the country. At first, it allowed us to get ATMs that were bank agnostic, with no fees for withdrawal; then, they created this “reference” system, to make us be able to pay our bills easily. This was such a quality of life improvement. No wonder banks keep closing branches in the small cities and villages: nowadays you can even do everything online, so what’s the point of hiring people to talk to us?
Obviously, I go to the nearest ATM, and try to pay. There used to be many of them around everywhere, they were even more common than payphones on their heyday. But just like payphones, more and more were being shut down, because they were cost centers - I’ve heard from the manager of a branch that each ATM costs more than 550€ to run each month, and even though they run ads on the things, they still are a net loss for the bank, and since their clients can just do the exact same things from literally anywhere else in the world, they are being removed one by one. And the ones that are still around, well those are now geared towards the tourist crowd - they accept every card, but you can’t pay using those references anymore because these are a different system even though they are operated and maintained by the exact same company.
The only place where you can still find one reliably is the supermarket. So I venture into one, and long story short, technology finally saves the day and I pay the debt. Crisis averted, thankfully I still had that money that I was saving for the birthday of my grandchildren, and I might eventually get the money back. This was obviously all a misunderstanding, and it shouldn’t be to hard to clear. So, I call my daughter, ask her to check for me on the Autoridade Tributária website what was going on, and then to schedule an appointment as soon as possible with them. By the end of the day, I was still a bit worried about all this, it was all too sudden after all, but I had managed to act in time, so at least I had cut my losses pretty early on. It wouldn’t get worse than this, I had some experience with them, and from what people say, there’s a certain regularity to how the taxman operates.
Next day, my daughter calls me around 10, and my funny bone starts tingling. She had searched around the platform using my login, and there were no outstanding debts registered there, but sometimes this happens she says, the website is really old at this point, they need to create a phone app for it, just goes to show the state that this country came to: we were once at the forefront of the digital integration, a case study on how to create a more efficient interaction between state and its citizens. But anyway, she had managed to schedule the appointment, but this I knew already because they had sent me an email with the date and time. That much we managed.
The appointment was due in 3 days, so I stayed put. Took a screenshot of the message, just in case - very useful skill nowadays. The waiting did not help to make the tingling go away - and when the day finally came, boy was it tingling! I go into the building, use the confirmation code to print a ticket with a number and wait until my number shows on the display. This display ends up sending me to office 12, where this very meek middle aged woman is waiting for me. Straight to business she asks me how she can help, and I explained the situation, I needed to know more about what this procedure was all about, that I had to pay such a huge debt on such short notice, it must be a mistake, no?
Still without taking her eyes off the computer, she asks me for my tax id, types it in the screen in a window somewhere, and says that this should only take a minute. Indeed, after not even a minute a window pops on the screen, and all of a sudden the face of this lady just transforms, as if all her being is being poured into the interpretation of the contents of this new window on the computer. And after a few seconds, she says that there’s nothing on the system, no debt was present in the last 90 days, my sheet is clean as far the taxman is concerned.
How could this be, look, I have the message here, look. She did look this time around, but quickly went back to the computer, yes, they had trainings about this, sorry to inform you sir but you’ve fallen victim to a scam. A scam? Yes, sir, a scam. The Autoridade Tributária never uses the multibanco references for payments, we have our own system. The best thing for you to do would be to go to the police, file a report and take it from there, there’s nothing we can do for you here. The tingling didn’t abate.
I’m not sure how I left that building, as I was going blind for a minute or so. It was as if someone had slammed a baseball bat against the side of my face, and I lost sight until I slowly started getting it back once I was able to get outside, and this was truly one of the most surreal experiences of my life. How could any of this happen, my head is spinning, and I have to remember to breathe. This is worse than I thought. And this fear gave me the kick I needed to get my head in place, and just go into the police station, as it should be done in situations as the one I had found myself into. Scammed, what on earth, I understand that I’m too old for all these things, but it shouldn’t be possible to do what they did.
After explaining what happened to the policeman at the entrance booth, he gave me another ticket and told me to wait near the cafeteria. From there, I heard the number being called a few offices down the corridor, and I was greeted by another police officer. He was way too jovial for my taste and the situation, but apparently this - meaning, investigating these new crimes and helping to catch the scammers - was his life calling. He explained to me that scammers could now spoof the caller IDs with the networks, so instead of showing their number they can just show any name they wish, it’s not a new technique, but the equipment to do this turns out it’s really cheap on aliexpress, and they have just amped up the frequency of scams in these past 5 years, you wouldn’t believe the amount of reports we get.
The obvious question was made, now what, and the answer was also quite obvious: now we need to file a complaint so that we can attribute a number to your case and start the investigation, please give me a few minutes so I can fetch the proper form and we will fill it together, but let me just warn you to not put too much faith, our response rate is unfortunately quite low, you see, I’m the only person dealing with this type of crime for the whole metro area, and just to get all the required forms in shape to present it to the judge so that he can order the telecom to give us the details of the owner of the number, that’s bound to take at least 2 weeks. The tingling was now more like needles going through my back.
But 2 weeks, that’s not so bad is it? Yes, but understand that once we know the purported owner, there’s no guarantee that that’s the actual person who committed the scam - if we even get a name at all, since in Portugal you’re not required to register your sim card with anyone, you can literally just buy it anywhere and start using it, so more often than not we quickly reach a dead end, and have to start anew, because if we’re lucky we can petition the judge to extend the original order so that we can track the IMEI and match it with someone through a database, but that’s also prone to be a dead end because more often than not the scammers are using randomizers and– wait where are you going?
The blindness had come back, and this time I knew I had to leave the building as soon as possible because I could hardly breathe at all. The policeman came after me, what’s wrong don’t you want to have your money back? My dear sir, from what you’ve told me, I’m just going to be caught in a veritable web of bureaucracy, with no guarantee at all that this is going to work, and my name isn’t Josef K., nor was I born yesterday.
I light a cigarette, for the first time in 12 years, ah what if my dear father could see me now, what would he say? He always thought of me as being a little soft in the head, a product of my generation, and I guess he was right even if for the wrong reasons. Guess I’m never using a multibanco ever again, that much is for certain.