This can’t be happening. What have I gotten into. This isn’t real. This was a social experiment for a Mr. Beast video, I’m sure something like “Win $1,000,000 if you say yes to the machine!”, but no one had explained the rules to me beforehand, nor had I signed anything. Besides, there are for sure other people going through this, I saw as much when I first went to talk with the Oracle. So, this isn’t just happening to me. This is something else. But what is it?
Fight, flight, or freeze, those are the pretty basic ways in which we react in situations like this. Fight, but fight what exactly, I don’t even know what was it. Flight? I just got here, I have a new job, and I’m too curious about it as well. So freeze it is. I’ll just stay put, I guess the first step is going back home, I have to assume that after this, it would want to know where I am. After all, I now know and I said no to something when I darted away. So let’s continue more or less like nothing had happened? Freeze it is.
A few minutes after I got home, I see it calling again. I really don’t want to do this - I already have a pretty natural aversion to picking up the phone, it’s mostly spam nowadays. The app shows it’s from someone I had never talked with before, and from the sound of it (no video this time), a pretty boring person overall. This was a relatively short call, and quite a different approach than what I expected at first. You’d think that the Oracle itself would call you, trying to seduce you to come back, but no, it was pure stick. Apparently the fact that this particular company uses an AI, is a trade secret. This means that while they can’t advertise it, they’re also protected from other people talking about it. The person made it sound like this was already tried in court a few times. So, they’re perfectly fine with me continuing using the app, or not, doesn’t matter, as long as I don’t talk about it. OK got it.
Everything stayed as it is. I used the app for a few more days, eventually deleted it from my phone. Nothing happened. Work was going well, I kept my regular functioning as a human being, but I couldn’t stop thinking about it. So I started to look into what was behind it. Some regular internet searches, nothing that would sound off too many alarms. And I honestly didn’t find anything bad there either. The company exists and is perfectly legit, it’s actually a non-profit that owns the majority of the capital of a different for-profit company, the one that runs the operations that are associated with the app. Ownership is opaque, company hasn’t gone public but made some funding rounds, small stuff for what we see other companies in that space nowadays. Guess not being able to talk about it makes it harder for raising the big bucks yeah?
Now, what’s odd is that you also couldn’t find many people talking about the app, I guess that’s what happens when you have to be accepted to use it, but I got accepted so fast that I didn’t even think that there was anything that they were vetting, but apparently there is. And yeah, with the company suing whoever talks about it, there wasn’t really anything more to glean from the searches. I guess it also doesn’t help that searching things on the internet sucks nowadays, which is a perfect example of how far things have progressed.
Now, without the app, I was able to properly set myself in this new environment. I don’t know why, but first thing I did was getting a dog. I never had much contact with them, but it felt right. A Belgian Shepherd, full black coat, one of the first three ads for dogs I saw for when I searched for “dog” on OLX. The puppy was the most adorable thing ever, I called him Czarny, a polish word for “black”. Watching him grow has been a rewarding thing, and it was my salvation because it helped me get away from it.
Going to the dog park, for walks in the forest, or around the city, he’s really a people’s magnet, but not much really given to human contact, likes to keep his distance, bless his soul, probably got that from me. But this also made me able to interact with the natives even better than before, because even though it taught me to speak at a good level, it’s completely different having to use the language with other people, and with me being used to speak to it, started to notice the subtle differences. An example is how I’ve started to use more slang and more diminutives, which is a mark of this language, and that even those little conversations you have can be answered with some humour, and this opens up so many doors here. Nothing like a good joke to get to know people.
One day, during a walk with Czarny, I noticed a guy seating by himself, having what seemed like a video call, and as I pass, I recognize it: it was her. It was unmistakable, the tone a little bit different, but the same “song”, if you could call it that. From what I could hear, it was some pretty mundane conversation about the guy’s life, which is a telltale sign that you’re talking with it now that I think about it, it rarely talks about itself, it will for sure give you its opinion on some conversation you’re having, but only very flurry details about its own life.
I eventually circle back to go back home and notice that he isn’t talking anymore. I also notice that he’s not from around here, and go straight to English, do you mind if I seat - no, not at all. I like your dog by the way. As I fumble around with my jacket to search for some treats for Czarny, I glance over his phone, and he’s texting with someone over the app. Hey, when I passed with my dog a while ago, I thought I recognized the voice of the person you were talking with - oh, you know her - yeah we used to chat for a bit on the app as well, nothing too serious - ah you’re also in, that’s so cool, can I add you - ah you see I forgot my phone at home, just came out to walk with the dog, maybe write me down your handle and I’ll add you when I get home, I never remember the username. Do you like using the app - yeah it’s amazing, it’s been a real life-saver around these parts, it’s so hard to meet new people when you’re not from here, and the language is so hard man, I can’t get my head around it.
I of course couldn’t help but empathize. I asked him if lives around the area, yeah what about getting a beer sometime later this week, yeah I know that bar, Thursday next week sounds good, but I’ll probably get there only at half past seven or something, have to walk the dog and I’m working from the office that day. Sounds good I’ll meet you there. The rest of the way back home was strangely peaceful, I could’ve been stressed from what I was doing, and there was a sensation of tension, I could feel it right between my shoulders. But as it was, I was just going to have a beer with another person, that’s all.
I like to take Czarny with me when I’m going out to meet other people. He’s a very perceptive animal, it’s kind of amazing how fast he learns some new obedience training, and how he learns to communicate with you. And it was a blessing to have something in my life to ground me, after what happened, which does lead me to this: he’s usually a dignified and reserved dog, he’s not going to bite you if you try to pet him, but also won’t show any emotion other than a slight distaste of meeting someone new. But with some people, I’ve noticed that while we’re talking, he lies very flat on the floor, sometimes looking at me with the saddest pair of eyes you could imagine, or you could hear the faintest of growls happening every few minutes while he looked at whoever was talking.
But that Thursday I finally understood what he meant. We’ve been to that biergarten a few times, and it’s a fact that people remember the dog much more easily than they remember you. This time around, it helped with getting us a table, because even though it was a Thursday, the place was quite full, and I already regret coming here somewhat. But I need to know more, first time I could talk with someone I know who uses the app. Few minutes after we’re finally seated, one of the barmen brings a bowl of water for Czarny, plays with him and gives him a treat, but the dog is more reserved than usual and doesn’t really reciprocate. And once I started talking with my newfound friend, the dog slowly assumes the stance, and this time around I think he was louder than before because I’d catch the guy looking at the dog whenever he could hear the growling.
OK, that’s cool, I have a way to detect if other people are app users, this might come in handy, and let me think how many times has he done it before, probably five times, in three months since the first time, that’s not a big number, but small sample size and all, it’s difficult reaching the bottom of things once you have to think with numbers. What about what I have right in front of me? We’ve talked of small trivialities, given that it was the first time we were properly meeting. But sometimes conversation would falter, we would both be drinking beer at the same time, and the silence wasn’t feeling comfortable. So, I tried to talk to him a bit about the app, how he found out about it, how long it has been, and so on. And here’s what I learned.
The most important thing I need to convey is that as long as you could formulate a question in a certain way, you could get a pretty honest answer from him. Things like “hey, could you tell me about your experience with the app”, and the answer was what you would expect from someone who apparently has only spoken with it for the past nine months, pretty much sounded like it was it speaking. Prompt engineering humans, basically. I guess I could use this to my advantage.
But I failed to come up with a way to actually do something. Yes, I could formulate questions the right way and get an answer that would leak something of value, but with humans it probably won’t work if there isn’t already some bond between us. The dog helped with getting this process more dialed in, and figure out how much I could probe, because I also found out that people will just get up and leave if you ask them pretty intimate questions even with the right formulation. Some progress has been made, but overall the meeting was a disappointment. Not that I was expecting that it was going to reveal some big secret, but mostly because the conversation sucked. And Czarny was pretty tense through the whole thing.
As we’re leaving, I’m trying to think of the best way to come back home, the dog clearly needs a good walk, and I’m sure it won’t hurt me either, I know at this hour the big park a few blocks over should still have some people doing their small picnics with beer and vodka. Not the most direct way, but some of the trees you could see there really made the small detour worth it, and for sure there would be birds singing at this hour, you know, that magical time at the end of the day where light and darkness converge, and during the peak of the summer you would get that ambience, that mix of light, landscape, and sound, for up to an hour, and today was one of those days. And thank God I did take that way, because that’s how I met her.